I guess the picture shows everything how i feel right now.

I hope you heard me though.

I Love You Very Much.

My BIG Mistake

I realise that I had been making a lot of mistakes lately to you. I hope you could forgive me... I wish all the painful memories could be undone but I know it is very difficult. I wish you could give us another chance again... I know it is hard but i really hope it is not impossible. I Love you.

sienz 2...

Like I said earlier this afternoon, I was fcking sien. Till now I still feel the same. The fact that I learnt new thing today is not making my mood any better. Only awhile. I learnt to extract audio from youtube which was very new thing to me (yeah I know, sound so naïve right?) but yeah it is a new thing for me.

Arrrgggh…. Feel like there is something I could do to get this frustration of my chest but I do not know how. I know what my frustration is but there is nothing I can do about it. Cause if I said it, it would make it sound as if I’m forcing something to happen and it won’t happen (I just know). It will turn out worse. I’ll keep my mouth shut better! I feel like scolding a lot of @#$%^%@#&%$# right now! Arrrgghhhh!

The Climb - Miley Cyrus

I love this song. I do not like her in person (no offense) but this song is nice. Enjoy!

Try THIS!

A friend of mine send me this email. Which was very true. haha. Well, at least for me. Try it!~


WHO IS YOUR ROLE MODEL???




Please don't look down until you do it, you'll love it I promise

GET A CALCULATOR (IF YOU NEED ONE YOUR COMPUTER HAS ONE ON IT)

1) Pick your favorite number between 1-9

2) Multiply it by 3 then

3) Add 3, then again Multiply by 3 (I'll wait while you get the calculator.. ..)

4) You'll get a 2 or 3 digit number….

5) Add the digits together (example 12=3)

Now Scroll down . ..


Now with that number see who your ROLE MODEL is from the list below:

1. Einstein


2. Nelson Mandela


3. John Wayne


4. Helen Keller


5. Bill Gates


6. Gandhi


7. George Clooney


8. Thomas Edison


9. Geraldine Lai (paiseh leh)hahahahahahahaha...........!!!!!


10. Abraham Lincoln


I know....I just have that effect on people....one day you too can be like me.... :-) Believe it!

sienz...

I am so fcking bored at the moment. Sien..

Useless entry i know...

back home...

Dear went back his hometown today. He was dreadfully tired.

Miss you heaps!

Love you..

Fun fair 18.06.2009

Yesterday night dear and I went to the UK Fun Fair. The entry fee is only RM2 per adult. It was relatively small as compared to the ones in Kuching according to dear. Haha. Anyway, it has been a long time since I went to a fun fair. There are few fun fairs and circus tours in Miri for the past few years but I did not get the chance to go but now I got my chance. There were not many people there since the fun fairs started 2 weeks back if I not mistaken. Could understand why there are not many people there. We started looking around for what games we could play. The most obvious thing you could see even from afar is the huge Ferris wheel. Then there was the bumper car, shooting games, darts game, ghost train, the twister thingy (I don’t know how to call it) and there are few more fun looking games which I seriously do not know how to call those. Haha. Noob.

So the first thing we did was buy some token which cost RM2 each. Then we played bumper car. Dear insisted I drive. I got so nervous cause in real life I have not been driving for over one years plus. I know even kids can play and do not need any special skills. But I am nervous! So we started playing and it was fun. Dear occasionally have to help control the steering wheels because my skills suck. We eventually get bumped and we bumped other people. It was fun, although I sustain some “injuries” after bumping into another car. Haha.

Then we move on to another game which was that twister thingy. It looks fun at first and we got chance to camwhore a while. Haha. I did not know it will be that bad until the twister started to spin. Then my regret conscience starts kicking in. What have I gotten myself into? I started to feel dizzy and I feel like vomiting. As the twister spinning faster, I could help but to hold on to dear’s hand tightly. Really TIGHT. The ride was very bumpy. Oh have I mention, there was only 5 people in that twister at that time. So I guess the 5 of us was screaming and yelling. Dear was the one screaming and yelling the most. Haha. Then, the embarrassing part comes. The twister stop and I was relieved. NOT. I feel dizzy all over and could not even stand up. Dear have to help me up and bring me to sit at the side. Then dear suggest I go to boulevard to use the wash room. Then we went there and then seriously I vomited. Sia Soi! Lol. Dear even have to buy me some medication to relieve my condition.

When I got better, we went back to the fun fair. We played games like rolling the ping pong ball into some numbered slots. Then the sum of the numbers indicate whether you won a prize o not. We got nothing. Then we played throw some ring to bottles that game. We got nothing too. Haha. Not our luck huh? But I get to keep a coin from the fun fair as a remembrance J Then I guess that what we did there. We do not have much time to play all of it and some of it was really pricey like the Ferris wheel cost 3 token per person (RM6). Overall, it was fun but it is not that pricey for the games it would have been better. J Thank you dear for bringing to enjoy and have fun. Love u. Here are some pictures for you guys to see.

Me in bumper car

Dear dear want to put peace sign but don't dare make it so obvious..haha

Bao face. Haha.

Dear took a picture of me when I trying to cool off after the twister ride

Bruise on my knee from the bumper ride

Bruise on my arm from the twister and bumper car ride

Finally...

Finally I finished my finals today. Officially holidaying at the moment. Lol. I am looking forward to that day.

Two more weeks:)

Happy happy....

Nom nom nom nom....

These animals manage to get a smile on my face somehow...




Got this from JoJo's blog
Enjoy!~

what happens now???

*sigh* Is the only expression I can give at the moment.

Tomorrow is my final test for the semester. Economics Macro 101. One of the toughest units after Finance 201. I did my best revising and hopefully I could pass that unit. Wish me luck.

That is not the only reason I am sighing. I felt something is missing in my life. I felt happy one moment and the next moment I am not happy at all. I am stressful. It is like I am gaining something only to lose other things instead. I gained love and lost it and gained it back. I gained new friendship and lost it. I gained my confidence and lost it. I gained trust and lost it. I feel empty inside.

What is wrong with me?

How could she hold up that smile when all she feels is pain and tears that drip from her face each night. She wonders when everything will get better but it’s only God that she can trust. She can only believe in herself which keeps her strong. It’s hard for her to look in the mirror because she thinks back to the days where everything was so easy and there was nothing to worry about.. ~ Jovinia ~

At times, I really wish I had the ability and courage to get out of my situation right now. At times, the words of encouragement I got, was it real or was it just words? Where is the feeling of comfort being myself? It is so hard being me. They used to say that people will reach at some point of their lives questioning who they are and what they should be. I truly admire those people who can go through the hard times without any help. They can stand on their own feet and move on with their lives. They can make their own choices without having the doubt of what is on the other side of their choice for they know everything will be ok. Their family will always be there supporting them and most importantly, their loved ones.

If there is anything that I could wish for, I just wish that my family could be more supportive of my choice. The choice that would make me happy. I really wish for that. To live with huge uncertainty in my future is really killing me. To live day by day not knowing what will happen the next day really kills me. At times, I prayed for this feeling to taken away from me but it is not happening. At times, I cried to sleep knowing that things would not be how I wanted it to be. But you know what, that is the fact of life. You cannot always get what you wanted. You once said to me, people are never content with what you have. It is true when I think things through.

Is there anything or anyone in this world that can take all these things away from me? I really do not know how much longer I can stand all these uncertainties in life.

It is you that I depend on through these times but those things seem to be so far away from your reach. I cannot possibly have you to be there for me every time when I could not be there for you when you needed me the most. We too, do not know what the future holds for us. All I could say is…True love is hard to come by but when you have it in your hand, would you hold on tight to it?

Life has never been easy for any of us. Some worse. Some are better off. But no matter how tough life gets, would you promise me to live a good life? Be happy and be content with who you are. Then I know it is time to move on…